Friday, October 22, 2010

Teachable Moment

Lesson. Me. Teacher. God.

So I was laying Isaac down for a nap the other night and he has been snuffly and kinda sick so I prayed over him and asked God for a good sleep and healing from this sickness. I layed Isaac down and went off about my nightly relaxation. (get to the couch as soon as I can ... go .. go  go .. haha ok its not really that bad .. mostly) Anyways, I just sit down really and Isaac is crying. I go back upstairs, pick him up and begin to just cuddle him and rock him back and forth. And so I begin arguing with God. (I have to learn to pick my moments better)

At this point I am frustrated with God and I am asking why Isaac is still sick. Why? Really, isn't my faith big enough? I prayed. I believe God heals. Sometimes I get into a bit with God over things like this. (hmmm is this starting to look like one of my boys saying,"but I want a cookie now .. not later.") So anyways, quite frustrated, meanwhile Isaac has fallen asleep in my arms and I say to God, maybe I should just stand here rocking him all night. Maybe I should just rock him until you tell me to stop. (imagine all that in a bit of a huffy sort of voice) And God says, "Would you?"

"Huh? Would I what?"

"Would you rock him until I tell you to stop?"

I start to think about the movie downstairs, my snack, my couch. I start thinking about standing here until I have to go to work in the morning, being exhausted and wondering if I have to call in (not sick) and say I can't come in yet, I'm waiting for God to tell me I can put my baby down. And I say to God ...

"Probably not."

"Then your faith is not big enough."

Ouch.

"So what am I supposed to do then? How do I grow my faith? How is this supposed to work?"

"Seek, read my Word and fill yourself up."

So I was schooled. Keep in mind, the conversation above did indeed happen. Some people maybe find it offensive I am typing what I am supposing is God speaking. Absolutely. That is what I believe God said to me. No question in my heart. It was God. Can we move past that now?

So much hits me out of this moment. For right now, obviously the "ouch" moment was certainly, well, ouchy. But I think I see an avenue of growing and learning from this. Also, why do we suppose right off that God will want us to do what we least want to do? When God challenged, immediately I began thinking, "oh man this is going to go all night." But is it so unlikely that it might have only been 2 minutes if I had just submitted my will to Him? One last thing is the word seek. It is a word that comes up a lot for me, whenever I have received prophetic words or in conversation with God. I think I am a seeker but I get easily distracted.

So there it is.

Teachable Moment.

Thanx God.

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