Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The child, North Korea.

Does it count that I am blogging in a sort of forced manner? If I was in shackles and tied to this desk and "urged" to write, would it matter to you out there? ha ha In a manner that is what is happening, minus the shackling and various forcible treatment. Truth is my wife is having a girl party downstairs and with no tv upstairs, I find myself looking you all squarely in your computer monitor-like eye and saying .. hmmm what should I blog about?

Some people bolg everyday. Doesn't that seem like a bit much? Who has that sort of time? And even if you did, what are you writing about? Was your day that exciting? hmmm Maybe it was. Maybe my days aren't exciting enough. Is that some sort of modern day measurement of our days' excitement level? If you have nothing to blog about, your life is boring. Or what I prefer to think is that people blog about just anything, and maybe more than the average public wants to know. You think, well it's just my friends reading this but in the wide open world of this crazy internet life, people can wander in from anywhere.

Looking at my hits the other day I notice I have people from the US viewing my page which, ok, I do know a few people down there. But I have a few hits from the UK and from Germany. Who do I know there? My point is that you never know who will wander in unannounced and with no door to knock at, they are walking right in. At least have a bathrobe on ok?

So ultimately I guess I just don't blog about everything. Sometimes when I feel creative or otherwise sectioned off into an area of the house, I sit down and just type. See what happens. Instead of a show about nothing, I have a blog.

Crazy.

You want to know more about crazy? North Korea. They fired on a South Korean island. Really? They thought that might be a good idea? Who did? Who is runnning that country? Seriously though, they do what they want to do and nobody hardly says boo. Well, they say don't do that or else. It's like dealing with a child.

"Don't kick the cat or you will get a spank." Child turns and kicks the cat.

"That was wrong. Don't do it again." Child nods, turns and kicks the cat repeatedly.

"Do we need to talk about this?" Child says, if you are allowed to kick things and express your way of life then so am I. This body is independent of yours and will continue to act as such and as it sees fit.

"But." Child calls his friends, Iran and Russia come over. Iran uses the UN to inform everyone of the injustice you have served upon said child and warn against any further provocation. They repeatedly call for your destruction and for the destruction of the friend you are in the progress of distancing yourself from; Israel. Child snickers. Russia meanwhile soothingly placates you with big words in a language you mostly don't even understand even while they are buying new steel toed boots for the child. Actually they sold the boots to another friend, Libya, who in turn leant them to China, who then just happened to forget them at the child's house one day. Russia would never condone the child's actions. No. Never.

Your neighbour watched the whole thing happen and they express their disgust for what the child and his friends are doing. As usual though, you ignore your neighbour to the north. Instead you continue to try and have a conversation with the child.

That poor cat.

And after the cat? What then? Who gets kicked next?

Repeated threats with no action only empower the enemy as they become more comfortable in the idea that nobody will actually do anything to stop them. They will commit small acts at first and slowly become bolder and bolder. If you were never going to do anything a bout it, then you should never have opened your mouth.

So there it is.
Until next time.

Monday, November 15, 2010

It is the dance.



Ok, I am going to come clean here. Oh, by the way it's me, you're friendly neighbourhood blogger here. Where have I been you ask? What have I been up to? Wow twenty questions or what. Relax already. Give me some room to breathe. You wonder why I haven't been around? So smothering.

Anyways, coming clean ... I attended ... the ballet. I know. So without a doubt you can now consider me ... someone who has seen the ballet. I mean really is it that big of a deal? I'm still a man. I can still punch you in the face. Nothing changed. Well, something changed. I actually thought it was ok. I wasn't sure I'd even have given it that at the start. But it was good. I probably just lost half my audience in that statement. Hopefully I had an even number of fans or that half a person is just feeling awful right now.

At first I was completely lost in the ballet. Not lost as in, wow I'm overwhelmed by the majestic ... no, lost as in what the heck is going on here? I don't understand what the story is supposed to be. Luckily, the story was provided for us at the start and thus I kept clinging to the few words I had. "I know his mom, the queen, is trying to find him a wife but all I see is people leaping and jumping. Stand still and just talk already."

But as it went on, I found it easier to follow and I was "getting" it. And as I relaxed in it, I began to appreciate what they were actually doing. These people are strong. They move in ways, and on toes that seems unnatural. Really, toes weren't meant to be walked on like that. Were they? And while their bodies seem flexed and stressed and strained, they are at the same time totally relaxed in what they do. At once strained and graceful. Much like me in my every day life. ha ha If there is one word that's never been used to describe me, it is graceful.

And then there is the aspect that this troup is from Russia. I find Russia fascinating. Some day I should like to travel and explore Russia; such history. This is a ballet, composed by Tchaikovsky in 1876. Did you hear me? 1876. Tell this is not a cultural event. Here is a group of Russina performers travelling Canada performing this piece of history and there is something magical in it to me. I think they might have some amazing stories to tell.

So yes, I attended a ballet. The Moscow Ballet. And it was pretty darn good.


Here is a cool ballet quote I found in an effort to form you all into more well rounded individuals:

”Ballet technique is arbitrary and very difficult. 
It never becomes easy... it becomes possible.”

- Agnes de Mille 

Friday, October 22, 2010

Teachable Moment

Lesson. Me. Teacher. God.

So I was laying Isaac down for a nap the other night and he has been snuffly and kinda sick so I prayed over him and asked God for a good sleep and healing from this sickness. I layed Isaac down and went off about my nightly relaxation. (get to the couch as soon as I can ... go .. go  go .. haha ok its not really that bad .. mostly) Anyways, I just sit down really and Isaac is crying. I go back upstairs, pick him up and begin to just cuddle him and rock him back and forth. And so I begin arguing with God. (I have to learn to pick my moments better)

At this point I am frustrated with God and I am asking why Isaac is still sick. Why? Really, isn't my faith big enough? I prayed. I believe God heals. Sometimes I get into a bit with God over things like this. (hmmm is this starting to look like one of my boys saying,"but I want a cookie now .. not later.") So anyways, quite frustrated, meanwhile Isaac has fallen asleep in my arms and I say to God, maybe I should just stand here rocking him all night. Maybe I should just rock him until you tell me to stop. (imagine all that in a bit of a huffy sort of voice) And God says, "Would you?"

"Huh? Would I what?"

"Would you rock him until I tell you to stop?"

I start to think about the movie downstairs, my snack, my couch. I start thinking about standing here until I have to go to work in the morning, being exhausted and wondering if I have to call in (not sick) and say I can't come in yet, I'm waiting for God to tell me I can put my baby down. And I say to God ...

"Probably not."

"Then your faith is not big enough."

Ouch.

"So what am I supposed to do then? How do I grow my faith? How is this supposed to work?"

"Seek, read my Word and fill yourself up."

So I was schooled. Keep in mind, the conversation above did indeed happen. Some people maybe find it offensive I am typing what I am supposing is God speaking. Absolutely. That is what I believe God said to me. No question in my heart. It was God. Can we move past that now?

So much hits me out of this moment. For right now, obviously the "ouch" moment was certainly, well, ouchy. But I think I see an avenue of growing and learning from this. Also, why do we suppose right off that God will want us to do what we least want to do? When God challenged, immediately I began thinking, "oh man this is going to go all night." But is it so unlikely that it might have only been 2 minutes if I had just submitted my will to Him? One last thing is the word seek. It is a word that comes up a lot for me, whenever I have received prophetic words or in conversation with God. I think I am a seeker but I get easily distracted.

So there it is.

Teachable Moment.

Thanx God.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Inconsistentcy

So did I mention I might be totally inconsistent at this blog writing "thing"? I know, I know, all my followers have been waiting with breath held wondering what great words I will spout next. I'm just not a very structured person. I mean, I do like things a certain comfortable way, my wife can attest to my wont to be a professional homebody. But I am terrible at making time for things. To really write, I need to set time aside. To really get to know God, I need to set time aside. To really eat, I need to  .. oh yeah I seem to be able to do that no problem. Upon reflection maybe I need to reallocate food inhalation time to writing and/or God time. I could solve many problems at once. Honestly though, inconsistency haunts me like stomach pains after eating too much for Christmas dinner. Opportunistic. Just had that word pop into my head. Maybe that's how I describe myself. I don't think it's altogether bad. We do need to grab the moments we can. Make the most of every chance. But at the same time its easy to let things slide. And I don't want to let my relationship with Christ slide. Nothing against slides. At all. Well, excpet for those metal ones on a +30 day. That's just not right. What were people thinking when they made those? On the chance all our cooking appliances fail, we all will plan to meet at the playground and serve up some hamburgers. It's an end of days thing.

On to something completely different ....

The Maple Leafs are 3-0-0-0. Wow. What a start to the season. I watched the game tonight against Pittsburgh and as a game to measure themselves by, they did alright. Top line was almost non-existent but every other line showed up and if you have followed the Leafs at all for the past few years .. that's unheard of. The third line continues to impress and the 4th line has more than just muscle. They can score and they have hustle. Mike Brown looks like a steal for the 5th round pick they dealt. Anyways, just a blurb on the team I cheer for. People that want to hear about the Maple Leafs are few and far between so I will try not to let too many words settle on the subject.

Again, something different. ....

The fire closest to him raged  in a surge that snapped his eyes alert. He felt the intensity blaze across his face and the smell of burning hair coaxed him off the floor and to a sitting position. He groaned audibly though he was certain the groan of his body made the louder noise. How long had he been out? He glanced about the dark cavern quickly. He seemed to have no eyes heavy on him. Odd. Normally in the time it took for his eyelids to close, a rod or chain or some other heavy hurtful object would have crashed across his body. Laying down was for people and we were no longer people they told us. We were "to work" and that was that. Tworks. They liked that name for us. So us Tworks worked; cracking rocks, melting rocks, and sifting out what the fires left behind. There was the treasure unblemished by flames. Find one and you had earned a rest. Such was the hitch; many Tworks collapsed and found eternal rest long before a good night's sleep. He always just seemed to be one of the lucky ones. Depending on what you thought lucky was. Always found one when he needed one. Perhaps it only delayed his time in the caverns though. He hadn't found one now in three days. Maybe this was his new lucky.

He shuffled his worn feet to the fire erupting out of the ground. Gingerly, he passed a tray of stones over the flames and watched as they broke down and drained off the tray. Sweat no longer trailed down his face; he was drenched in it; he was a trail of sweat. He coughed hoarsely as the heat trickled down his throat. He shuffled closer. Might be easier this way. He felt the stone floor burning into his leathered feet. He closed his eyes. he couldn't hold them open to oppose the flames. Just step in and be done. This Twork was finished. A smile crept across his face as he mouthed the word .. Twork.

Cool breeze. He shivered. When was the last time he had shivered? A soft breeze played across his burned and weathered cheek. He sighed as he dropped to his knees and fell back to sitting. It should have been shocking but it was good. It was comfortable. It said, relax, be at peace. It actually said that. His eyes popped open.

A blue fog filled the cavern so richly that he could no longer even make out the fire right in front of him. All his eyes could find was what appeared to be the figure of a man dressed in a cloak.

"Now is your time, my son. Your path is before you. Your stone has been melted away and here you are," the voice was rich and deep though set in a whisper. But the words delivered such authority. "Pick up your shovel; you have many stones to melt far away from here but your first lies deeper yet in these caverns. Go to him. Go to Dahr Groa."

The blue fog began to shimmer. "Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright."

Oved picked up his shovel and began to walk. The heat flared against him once again but with something less than it once had, he thought. He was supposed to go find .. him? Dah Groa? The Keeper of the Bloodsand Quarry Prison? The one in charge of keeping him trapped in this underground prison? Though his mind questioned his every step, Oved's every step set sure and soundly forward.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Late night / early morning ramble.

Always seek wisdom son
It will not seek you out.
Set your steps sure
Be more than you were
And leave behind your doubt.

For every forward step you take
Brings you closer ev'ry day
Forward on
Ever strong
Don't listen to them say;

"Watch your step; careful there
The way is much too hard.
Come over here
So much to fear
The way will see you scarred

Rest here instead; lay your head
What trouble would you find
Always seeking
Never peeking
At the fun you leave behind."

The hoarse and crackling voices
Would have you halt your quest
They hold you back
Drawn into black
Pulled off your track
They spare no slack
As they hack
And hack
And hack
Until you're wracked
With spilling tears
Your quivering fears
Only hear
Crack.
Crack.
Crack.

Always seek wisdom son
It will not seek you out.
Set your steps sure
Be more than you were
And leave behind your doubt.

The voices that you hear
They mumble to compare
His Voice thunders
Opens wonders
And burns fiery care

"... therefore get wisdom
Though it cost all you have
Understanding
Notwithstanding
As to a wound, your salve."

Forward on then, my son.
Don't listen to the world
It cheats and steals
Does what it feels
Its twisted, tossed and twirled.

Never stop your seeking
The cost is not too high
Ahead the light
Glorious and bright
Has set its sight
Upon your plight
Will burn the blight

From you.

According to your wisdom, son.
You will be praised.


ok, first crack here .. almost 1 in the morning. Feel free to critique. It will be easy because online, you can't hear me cry as you rip it apart. But I will type with a wet keyboard so if you don't see me for a few days I may have electrocuted myself, is that even possible with a keyboard, even so, my finger could slip on a key and might break as it gets caught on the F buttons. You were forewarned readers.

Just Funnies.

Flight of the Conchords - Issues

And sometimes a good laugh is just great. These guys are from New Zealand. Not all their stuff is clean though so you have to pick and choose.

My wife says I have a gift of rambling when I write and these guys can do that to music.

Sometimes ideas just flow though unless there is a dam. Beavers. Stop damming my imagination with your ingenuity and persistent work ethic. See. I was going to ramble and they got to me. I saw the first stick and I thought I could get this out before they floated in the entire forest but my work ethic is just no match for Canada's signature mammal. I yield good sir. I shall float across your newly created pond and dream of unstopped creativity, imagination unstoppable, and cake. oh man I ate too much cake at Ezra's birthday.

Helper.

So my oldest boy turned 5. Well, not officially but the party was tonight so for all intents and purposes, Ezra is 5. How did that happen? One minute he's the boy who pees on me every time I opened his diaper (sometimes twice) and now he is 5? Again, wow.

So much has changed.

I was walking behind him in church and I was almost overwhelmed by what a little man he is becoming. First off, I want to qualify everything here by saying I love all my boys and I absolutely try to pay no favorites. But this is my oldest's 5 year birthday so I am on a bit of a swell right now; in the moment so to speak.

I think almost every day I am amazed at his maturity. At 5. What was I doing at 5? Harrassing my mom undoubtedly, skipping out on kindergarten and generally just being problematic. It's ok, I know it's true. But Ezra has an air about him. Part of it I think is that he is so eager to learn. He wants to know everything. I know probably everyone says that but with Ezra ... I don't know ... he listens so closely and you can see him actually learning. He will be a man of great wisdom. I've had visions of the kind of men my two oldest boys will be. And I see them both growing into those visions, right before me. Even now I believe Ezra has great discernment between right and wrong but as a man I believe he will discern things others can't see. He will be a leader not so much as a "rah-rah" loud talker (see Eli) but he will lead by action. He will lead because he will see what others cannot or will not. He will lead because the way is clear to him. He will lead because he can see what is evil ... to be blunt. I am excited for him. And as his papa, perhaps, maybe, kinda, sorta, a little afraid. But mostly excited. What a start he has had. Wisdom.  29 God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. Measureless understanding. 7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, [a] get understanding. Though it cost you all. I see that desire in Ezra. I pray I never do anything to squash that. That nothing the world ever does can squash that. Always seek Ezra. Unceasingly.

I am very proud to say that you are my son, Ezra.

To that end, this song has been very meaningful to me. Ok, I was going to post the link to the song but instead, watch the video of the lead singer, Matt, from Sanctus Real talking about how the song came about. God needs us men to be as he designed us. I have a loooong ways to go but I don't want to ever stop trying.

Matt Hammitt from Sanctus Real

Thursday, September 23, 2010

All of your life.

How could we have such a low view of the gospel of Jesus Christ that we have to manipulate men psychologically to get them to come down and pray a prayer? …How many times have I heard evangelists say, “It’ll only take five minutes.“? No my dear friend, it will take your life–all of it! “We’re just trying to attract people and then we’ll gradually bring them in further and further.” That is what the cults do, that’s not what Jesus did. Notice that in the gospels every time a great crowd is following Jesus, he turns around and says something so radical to them that most of them walk away. Of course Jesus probably would not get invited to teach evangelism [in most churches today]. ” --Paul Washer--


I read this quote the other day and it really resonated. What are we tiptoeing around? Why are we so afraid ... why am I so afraid to put it all on the line? And am I really putting it all on the line? What are we really putting on the line; what people think of us? Better people turn their face from me and hear the promises of Christ, than for those people to "love" me and never understand the life beyond this one.

It will take all your/my life. Time to stop sugercoating everything, making everything taste just right for everyone. The truth is actually pretty sweet all on its own. Its only bitter if you've become addicted to the candies you're surrounded with. This is not a 5 minute exercise and then your life will be perfect. I worked out once, a year ago and I still have this belly. What gives? ha ha

What are we doing? When Jesus said; "go out into all the world and make disciples" ... what part of my life is doing that? I think that as a dad, that part of my life is effectively working. Not saying I am a great dad but I do think that my wife and I are training up our children in the ways of the Lord. And I let them hammer things with real hammers. ha ha So that some day, as an adult, someone doesn't hand them a hammer to help out and they look at it with a weird scrunched up look on their face. "What is this?" They are getting a chance to "hammer" out some ideas now; early and before the world can get a claw in them. And when they are older they will be able to wield a sledgehammer and really beat back those attacks.

See how that flowed? No? I don't blame you; I tend to ramble sometimes.

A last thought to the quote above "...then we’ll gradually bring them in further and further ..."

How long before gradual runs out of road?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Motivation.


I feel inspired already.

So here I am ...

What sort of post should a first post be?

I have considered the foray into blogging for quite some time before my wife finally just went ahead and created this spot and said .. here you go. Now write already.

I enjoy writing. I have for many years. But I haven't really written much for several years. I've written some speeches, some poems (awww - you know you're saying it), misc things like that but my real love would be to write a novel. A book. A story. A tale. An epic. I like Lord of the Rings, Terry Brooks, George RR Martin, Patrick Rothfuss; I like fantasy. I like to read it. I like to write it. But you can't really hope to achieve that if you don't actually write. For some reason the books don't just materialize after thinking about them long and hard. You actually have to work at it. Strange.

I guess I hope this blog will perhaps stir the creative juices in me. Inspire me to write what I know I have in me to write. Hence the title of this blog. The road has to be travelled. You can't stand back and look at the road and wish you could be at the end. You have to step out and walk. Unless you have a car, then you can drive it. But I'm going to walk and enjoy the sights and sounds. Hopefully. If the mosquitos are bad I might hitch a ride.

I don't know that anyone will ever actual read this. Well, I know my wife will. But I guess that's not really the point. The point is to forcibly make my mind operate in the writing mode and in the process rattle some ideas out and inspire great works. I actually tend to have ideas rattling around quite frequently so maybe this will be the place I jot some down. I will ignore the rest of the rattling, that's just my age talking.

So what will you read in this blog? I promise you I will be all over the map. I'm not schizophrenic. Mostly it will be about what I find interesting because, well, it's my blog.

Any questions?

Good.

Let's walk.