Friday, October 1, 2010

Helper.

So my oldest boy turned 5. Well, not officially but the party was tonight so for all intents and purposes, Ezra is 5. How did that happen? One minute he's the boy who pees on me every time I opened his diaper (sometimes twice) and now he is 5? Again, wow.

So much has changed.

I was walking behind him in church and I was almost overwhelmed by what a little man he is becoming. First off, I want to qualify everything here by saying I love all my boys and I absolutely try to pay no favorites. But this is my oldest's 5 year birthday so I am on a bit of a swell right now; in the moment so to speak.

I think almost every day I am amazed at his maturity. At 5. What was I doing at 5? Harrassing my mom undoubtedly, skipping out on kindergarten and generally just being problematic. It's ok, I know it's true. But Ezra has an air about him. Part of it I think is that he is so eager to learn. He wants to know everything. I know probably everyone says that but with Ezra ... I don't know ... he listens so closely and you can see him actually learning. He will be a man of great wisdom. I've had visions of the kind of men my two oldest boys will be. And I see them both growing into those visions, right before me. Even now I believe Ezra has great discernment between right and wrong but as a man I believe he will discern things others can't see. He will be a leader not so much as a "rah-rah" loud talker (see Eli) but he will lead by action. He will lead because he will see what others cannot or will not. He will lead because the way is clear to him. He will lead because he can see what is evil ... to be blunt. I am excited for him. And as his papa, perhaps, maybe, kinda, sorta, a little afraid. But mostly excited. What a start he has had. Wisdom.  29 God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. Measureless understanding. 7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, [a] get understanding. Though it cost you all. I see that desire in Ezra. I pray I never do anything to squash that. That nothing the world ever does can squash that. Always seek Ezra. Unceasingly.

I am very proud to say that you are my son, Ezra.

To that end, this song has been very meaningful to me. Ok, I was going to post the link to the song but instead, watch the video of the lead singer, Matt, from Sanctus Real talking about how the song came about. God needs us men to be as he designed us. I have a loooong ways to go but I don't want to ever stop trying.

Matt Hammitt from Sanctus Real

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